It has taken me some time to jump on the Blogging band wagon, or the blog wagon if you will, but today I decided was time. Not that I've ever been one to follow with any trend so it really is no surprise that I am just now taking this up. I think I've steered away from it for so long because I love the feel of an empty notebook that is just waiting for me to fill up the pages. But lets face it, I can't read my own handwriting half the time and much of what goes in a virginal notebook is for my eyes only.
My inspiration started as I was driving into work this morning, dreading the day to come as usual and I realized I'm missing something. I'm hoping by banging it out on the keyboard that I will either find some solace or answers.
Maybe I need a real challenge in life. Something that takes me a considerable amount of brain energy to muddle through and leaves me a better, wiser, (richer would be nice), more well-rounded individual. Yeah, that sounds awesome!
Then I thought about the people I deal with on a daily basis, work people, people in the store, neighbors. Basically, my conclusion was that people themselves can be challenging on a daily basis and I really don't want any more of that. Do I want to be more challenged in my job? Maybe, but with the job I currently have that doesn't sound appealing either.
The more I thought about the definitions of "challenge" the more I realized I've had my fair share of those in my adult life and I'm not sure I need any more character building moments right now.
Challenges can come at a great cost. So much so, you pay for them your whole life. You come out an educated person because of them but they leave a wake of destruction like an F4 tornado. I don't need that. All stocked up at the moment.
So what do I need?
Maybe I just need a glass of red wine! (one moment please)
Aw, the wine is nice but maybe I need something more. Like life altering changes. But then I consider the changes I've made in the last few months and I realize I'm proud of how far I've come. I found out after some blood work that I had a laundry list of health issues that I've worked on solving in the last 4 months through my diet and supplements. I've lost weight, gained energy and muscle and the best part is I feel amazing!
What about a move? I really have moved plenty but it always means new and exciting things to come. In the last ten years I have moved 15 times within 4 states. Hmm, maybe its time to stay put for a bit.
Love, not even a question. I have plenty to go around.
Maybe I need to go back to school. A coworker of mine today had a tshirt from the community college I attended. It was really odd because the college is in KS and we live/work in NV so of course I found it interesting to say the least. But it got me thinking, as I'm always trying to listen to the signs the universe gives me, does this mean something? I've tossed the idea around literally since the day I got my degree at the Art Institute. I learned mid degree that graphic design was not my calling.
Schooling is expensive and what if I get board half way through? It is a tough call and I'm not sold one way or the other yet. If I did go back it would be for psychology/counseling/life coaching. I've always had an interest in it and I feel I'd be a quick study in the field. Can a blue collar woman whose almost 30 manage to get a descent education and get the right job with it? I do know after living in Nevada for one year that the need for psychological advisers and counselors is very high but it's hard to tell if that need would still be great be once I graduated.
It would appear I have no answer for myself as to what I need. Suffice to say I do feel better. Whether its the writing or the wine, or both I feel like my brain isn't so full of questions now.
It's hard to feel unsatisfied when I take a look around me and see my loyal, loving dogs and my best friend/fiance in the house that I love but I know the feeling will creep up again when I least expect it.
Maybe next time I'll be ready for it and fight it off with some answers. Maybe that will be the time I'm ready to make some real decisions.
you have a fan.
ReplyDelete